goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
