If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
