i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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