if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
It's just like the Real World with babies
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
