Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
