The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
