are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
