I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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