Your tits are I can't wait for
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
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