Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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