hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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