it wasn't lemon gatorade
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
