Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you traded sex for a burrito?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
