oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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