We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
