i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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