im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Floor bacon is actually really good
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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