you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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