just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
