First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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