Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
