She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Randomize
