Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Im part way to drunk.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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