it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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