when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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