it hurts more in the daytime
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
