We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
