yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
that is very illegal...i love you.
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