Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
