how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
