What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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