I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
