Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Pants are for mortals
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
