Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
