question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
