Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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