Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
