i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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