I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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