This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
