My friends, they love my intelligence
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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