there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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