Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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