We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
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