Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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