Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
