I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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