Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
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