you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
