Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
